Emotional Protection
We have all heard the spiel about
how we need to only have safe sex and the best way to do that is use condoms
but protecting against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is not the
only thing we need to be aware of. The World Health Organization (2018) says, “sexual
health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being in relation to
sexuality”. This means we need mentally prepare as well as feel emotionally and
physically ready as “it requires a positive and respectful approach to sexual
relationships” (WHO, 2018). It is almost impossible to have sex without the
deep connection and feelings of a bond to another person; that is why when we
hear stories of people starting a ‘friend’s-with-benefits’ relationship, someone
always catches feelings making the relationship difficult to continue. That is
why the term “no strings attached” is used because someone wanted to have sex
and make it clear that neither of them should see it as anything other than
sex; take the possibility of an emotional connection out of the equation to
make the sex aspect purely animalistic in nature.
An organization called Braveheart
(2016) states, “hormones released during sex work to bond partners. Like gluing
two pieces of paper together, try to tear the pages apart and the break wouldn’t
be a clean” or even. “The same kind of thing happens when there’s a breakup in
a sexual relationship. One or both of the people end up hurt. No one has
invented a contraceptive against getting hurt”, (Braveheart, 2016). People who
enter into sexual relationships before they are emotionally or mentally ready
run the risk of feeling powerful emotions such as: guilt, regret, and even
depression. Sex has evolved past the function to procreate and has become socially
acceptable to enjoy it but just because it seems fun in the moment does not
mean the emotional wave afterward will be as fun. Sex releases hormones and
endorphins in the brain that make it enjoyable and exciting. The ecstasy
released in a climatic orgasm supposedly brings a blissful feeling like no
other because it releases oxytocin which lowers the stress hormone, cortisol.
This is achieved by having pleasurable sex and you become reliant on your
partner to create these changes for you. This becomes a lot of responsibility given,
and accepted, by the partners of a sexual relationship. A person not
emotionally ready for this responsibility is more at risk of not being able to
control their emotions.
Sex advances all aspects of a
relationship and can cause more problems than its worth. We are all aware of
the risk of an accidental pregnancy or the development of an STD but sex should
be an act taken by two consenting adults that are ready to make the commitment
to take care of each other’s needs. Most people are still physically developing
before they reach adulthood but one major issue of teens is the lack of control
they have over their emotions caused by hormones. When our hormones are raging
and we feel the need the most to have sex is when we are probably the least
emotionally prepared for it. As teens and young adults, we are still figuring ourselves
out and we are not sure of anything so we cannot be prepared for something that
we do not have a clue how it works. Some people already worry if they are “normal”
without the added stress of worrying about if their sexual activity is “normal”.
People talk so candidly about their first kiss but when it comes to sex there
is no such thing as “normal”. People like what they like because they like it;
it feels good or gives them some sort of pleasure and normal is just a socially
constructed idea to make sure we do not stand out from the crowd. We do not
discuss the details of sex openly so, even though there is no real concept of
normal, we have no way to measure what sex is normal.
Sex is supposed to be enjoyable and
fun but without being prepared, sex can easily turn into sadness, anger, and loneliness.
From the moment we learn about sex and we are told not to engage in it, that is
all people want to do. Teens, and young adults need to be properly prepared
before engaging in sex so they can avoid the wild uncertainty, guilt, and
regret that will affect them later. We can emotionally prepare by understanding
that emotions will run high and mentally prepare by understanding that all
expectations of the perfect first sexual encounter are unreasonable and it will
not live up to our expectations. We can protect against pregnancy and STDs but “a
condom will never protect your heart”, (Braveheart, 2016).
World
Health Organization. (2018).
Braveheart.
(2016). Emotional side of Sex.
This post is very insightful! People need to understand that many things come along with sex, other than just the pleasure of it. There are so many hook ups happening that people feel like it's okay to do, because there's "no strings attached." Like you said, people are looking to have "fun" without understanding that other emotions can be added on to the experience. So many times we hear about people not wanting to "catch feelings," but with sex, it's a possibility that you can. A quote you included that says "a condom cannot protect your heart" is so true. I personally think that women are the ones who are bound to experience those various emotions because we are emotional creatures. Everyone, men and women, need to make sure they're having sex with the right people; I believe that you shouldn't have sex unless you're emotional prepared to handle whatever comes to you afterwards.
ReplyDeleteIf only the whole world could read your post; I'm sure they will have a change of heart. There would be fewer heartbreaks if they did because they'll be aware of what they're getting themselves into. I know there's got to be something deep down telling them what you're trying to convey, but sometimes they just ignore it. I for one agree with everything you said, and I hope others do as well.
That was a really great post! I think that the emotional side of sex is definitely pushed aside especially in health classes throughout middle school and high school. It is very true that society makes it look like STD's and unplanned pregnancies are the two worst effects of unprotected sex. I think that the emotional side needs to be focused on much more in health education. We all have emotions whether we like to admit it or not. Some people just deal with them differently.
ReplyDeleteI also like how you touched on the topic of what is considered "normal". I think that everyone questions that at some point in their life, especially concerning their sexual lives. Society likes to tell you what is "normal" which is why we have so many social problems today. It was nice reading a post that actually takes feelings into consideration. I think that today we push that aside a lot. I am excited to read your next blog!
This was a seriously great post! The content of sexual health can be an extremely tricky subject to navigate. Oftentimes, the emotional side of sexual health is neglected. Schools are definitely on top of teaching students the importance of STI prevention, but the emotional consequences that come from a spontaneous one night stand will have lasting effects when it comes to our mental and emotional well-being. I would love to know your thoughts on how the emotional well-being aspect of sexual health can be more effectively shared to the community. I love the quotation that you ended the blog post with "a condom will never protect your heart". This is information that all people, especially teenagers and young adults, need to hear. I think that your post was highly informative and well-written. Great job!
ReplyDeleteMorgan,
ReplyDeleteI think often times young adults do not understand that sex and always more than just sex. You're making yourself vulnerable to another person for maybe an hour, twenty minutes, or even just five. You're opening more than just your legs, you do somewhat have feelings for the person you're choosing to give yourself away to. And I know there's casual sex, but I still can't bring myself to think that a person won't be affected emotionally by it. People should be educated about the emotional side of sex and what you go through after. This post is so important, you should definitely leave your blog up after this assignment is over!
Cheyenne
This is a very great post Morgan! You have a really good point and it slipped my mind until now. When people are educated on sex, they leave out a lot. They only inform us about what can happen to you if you are not protected. They leave out some of the most important thing of why people have sex. Intimacy, emotions, love and other things attached to sex are neglected. I love when you said "t is almost impossible to have sex without the deep connection and feelings of a bond to another person" because this is so true! Great blog Morgan, you have opened my eyes to a lot of new information.
ReplyDeleteWow Morgan, this is really powerful and truthful because nobody really understand this. Sexual re;relationships are complicated and this post explains why so well. Some people enter this not knowing what they're getting themselves into, or they do enter it, but aren't fully ready for what's to come. It's very possible to catch feelings if you're in a sexual relationship with someone whether the ground rules are friends-with-benefits or not. You cant fully control how you feel about a person if you're not mentally and emotionally ready for what's to come. This was a good post, and I hope whoever read it got something from this.
ReplyDeleteGreat first post Morgan. You blog is so colorful and bright, very eye catching. I honestly always think about emotional protection, so i'm really glad that you broke it down. I am always so protective and I always have a wall up when it comes to relationships because I never want to get my feelings hurt. So I am glad to know that I am not the only one.
ReplyDeleteThat is really interesting that sex glues partners together. I totally see why though because it can be a vulnerable time or exciting time of releasing hormones. Spiritually I have always believed that when people come together they share each other energies. Both, good and bad energies, so when a breakup occurs they both have bad vibes attached to them. People should try to be prepared mentally before engaging with their partner. I liked all of your information, well laid out post!
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